To give you some background, I am as Blunt and Honest as I could be. I have been like this for years now, and I have no plan of changing myself. I like it like this, and I don’t want to change myself.
I recently met someone from my college. We haven’t talked much during college as their group used to dislike me and it was a well known fact. But since we met after college, and there was no group members around, I thought we can set the record straight and talk about why they hated me so much.
I started the conversation and lead it to one important question. She went with the flow and said, “After all that happened in college, I wasn’t sure you will talk with me and vice-versa”. It was my time to say something. And I was ready for it.
I replied saying, “I know you people never liked me, or putting it straight, you hated me a lot. I just don’t know the reason behind it.” She went defensive and said, “There is nothing of that sort. We just thought that you carry loads of Ego with you hence you talk the way you do. Though, now I know we were wrong…..”
I said nothing for a while, there was nothing left to say, not from my perspective anyways. I wanted to know what made them feel the way they felt about me. And hence continued and asked her that. She wasn’t expecting that question, and when I asked her this one, it hit her hard.
She took a while, and a little longer, and then finally said, “You always tell people on their face that they are wrong or right. You don’t care about how they feel. When you have something in your mind, you have to share it. And that is not right…..Means it is, but….”
I interrupted her and said, ” I believe everyone around me is my friend. I don’t know what the term friend for you and your group is, for me it is someone who helps us improve. Friend is someone who informs us when we are wrong even if that means that their maybe a quarrel between him/her and us. If I am not going to tell truth to my own friends, about there mistakes and behaviors, then who will?”
We both were there, waiting for the ice to be broken, for someone to speak something, but in the heat of the moment, it was not possible. I decided to leave. Wished her Good Luck for her future, informed her that I am in town and if she needs assistance on anything, she can inform me. And then I left.
But it was clear to me then. My Honesty has been considered my Ego. My Bluntness makes people feel that I am emotionless. But is it true? I know it is not. Then what went wrong? If I made a mistake, then where? I have tried to answer this question plenty of times, haven’t succeeded yet and not sure if I will succeed in future.
The only mistake I can think about is that I tell people absolutely how I feel about them and about their actions. When they ask me to give reviews or criticize their work, I do it with complete honesty. I remove the feelings I have for them, and consider reviewing their work as of someone whom I don’t know about. I believe that is important to give Honest and Unbiased reviews. I talk straight to the point, cause I really don’t understand the logic behind saying something in 5 lines that can be said in 1 line or even a single word….
Maybe that’s why I am hated, maybe people nowadays like people who give a thumbs up to everything they do, maybe the whole reason behind making and being with friends have changed……Maybe its time to be alone again, maybe its time to be Logan again…………