The disappointing silence

It wasn’t that I was expecting them to support me, but their silence was a disappointment for sure….

I am not too much experienced when it comes to the professional world. 1.5 years, that’s all I have. But I have learnt a lot of things in these years, and this was one such incident. An incident, that has taught me a lesson, given me something to work upon, and given me insight in other peoples’ minds.

Recently, we have started working on a new project. It’s not a completely new project, but we are rather moving our existing project from one framework to another, for performance reasons. Initially, I was supposed to be part of new development, but due to some major issues/enhancements in the old project, it was decided that I will be working on the old project for a while.

After my mentor, Prashant, has left, I am the only one in the team who has complete knowledge about the project, what issues might come if we decide to modify some module, how to fix them, and everything. It was a wise decision to keep me on the old framework, since no one else could complete the work that is there right now except me. Though, disappointed for not being able to work on the new technologies, the very fact that I am handling whole project on my own, keeps me satisfied.

But things change quickly, and this time, as last time, a last minute change was made to the release. There was a issue that was not supposed to go in this release. I had asked for confirmation from the client on this before I started working on this release. This Tuesday, though, the client had a change of heart and said this will be going in the release.

My manager updated me regarding this on Tuesday itself, and I accepted the changes. On Wednesday, manager told me that I am expected to release the code tomorrow. It was a short notice, something similar happened in last release, and I discussed this with the manager, and he said this will not happen again. But it did.

When I asked the manager why this has happened, he just said that we have to give it tomorrow and left. I decided to say nothing, and worked on it. My focus was to finish the task, and then, discuss this thing in front of the team. My task was finished by Thursday and we had a team meeting scheduled for Friday.

On Friday, when meeting started, I was waiting for everything to be over so that I can discuss my point. Once the time came, I shared my concern with the team. The manager, as expected, disagreed with me. For him it was totally OK to come up with such a change at last moment, and I was supposed to complete it. When I kept my point regarding a false pressure situation being created here, which could have been avoided, he started saying that you should enjoy pressure and should only concentrate on your work.

My work was already completed, and I stated that, ‘ It’s not about work being completed, its already done, the question here is, when are we going to have a clarity of what is going to be released?’ No answer from him, or anyone.

What surprised me was the fact that, before the meeting, everyone agreed that my point is valid and it should be discussed in the meeting. But, after the meeting, everyone came to me and said, ‘It was not necessary to discuss this in meeting’, or ‘You should avoid discussing such things with your manager, as it can have impact on your career and appraisals”.

Were they the same people who said that, ‘Yes, you are right’? Yes, they indeed were. Did they feel my point was not valid? Nopes. Everyone agreed that the point was valid. The only mistake I did was, I stood for what I felt was right, whereas, they decided to play along, to let it go.

Is this what it all boils down too? After years of studies, and education, should we just shake our heads the way management asks us to because they are paying us? Well, maybe that’s life, and if it is, then I am in total disagreement with it.


About Manish Jain

I'm a wanderer in search of solace which has long eluded me.
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