One Change in Life

One Change in Life.

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Lavasa!!!

It’s been around 1.5 years since I bought my bike. I’ve been craving a good bike ride since then. Yes, I’ve taken plenty of them, small ones, but in good weather. Memorable ones, with friends, or best friends, still the craving wasn’t satisfied. Something was missing…

Maybe it was the location. I was in Ahmedabad, and there are not many places near Ahmedabad where we could have gone for a bike ride. The closest destination was like 170 KMs, and even though I was always up for the challenge, none of my friends agreed to go down the road with me.

Things have changed though. I’m in Pune now. At a place where I can go to hundreds of places, within 100 KM. And Lavasa was one such destination. 61 KM from where I stay, and it became my first bike ride, on the hills. And it was fun…

It rained heavily on Friday. The temperature dropped a lot as well. It was a bad day I thought. I’ve been sick for almost a week now, and the sudden change in weather was not welcomed by me. However, something changed. As it rained, we planned a bike ride, and everything turned out so beautifully.

We decided to leave at 6 am, so that we will cover most of the distance before the sun will hit the turf. We’re slightly late, but still managed to be on the road by 6.20 am. Reaching Paud road, Jignesh joined us, and we were 6 people, on 3 bikes.

The journey started in a beautiful fashion. The road was dark, and empty. The wind was cold, and there was fog everywhere. I was mostly riding on instincts and by following the tail light of people ahead of me. I was wearing helmet, and soon the glass was covered in fog, creating issues for me to see the road properly. I opened the glass and the cold breeze started blowing on my face. I simply loved it. Cause it sent chills down my body, and it was awesome.

Fog 1 Fog 2

Soon, my spects were covered in dew as well, and I went totally blind. I had to stop, take my spects off. Asked my friend to guide me if he feels I am making any wrong turns. I am able to see without spects, but still, the fog was definitely creating issues for me. Then on we went, and for next 1 km, the weather remained same.

There were some brilliant places, we stopped there, laughed, snapped pics, and carried with out journey. Then began the hard part. Till now roads were good, plain, now the hills were starting, with all their dangerous steeps and turns, my first experience was supposed to excite me, so it did, also causing fear to rise in the back of my head.

My first turn was unexpected. It was a plain road, a blind turn, and when I turned slowly, I say a steep road ahead. I wasn’t sure about how to proceed. I was slow, and if my bike would’ve stopped, I’d have surely lost control on it. I suddenly switched gears, and tugged on the accelerator. I am lucky that my beast is always ready to take me to new heights of excitement. So it did. I climbed easily and the first turn gave me confidence to carry on with the rest of the trip.

There were more such turns, but I was mentally prepared for them, and knew how to carry on. It helped, we were through. And when we reached there, my jaws dropped at the beauty that was in front of me. I was on top of Lavasa hills, watching down the void that can succumb anything that falls into it. There were clouds in front of me, and the distant villages that were as small as a toddlers toys. The view was mesmerizing and I can not do a justification to it by writing about it.

Jpeg Jpeg Jpeg

We moved on, to the next point. The ride was easy and hard. There was ups and downs. Normal turn and blind turns. Normal slopes and steep ones, mixed with blind turn, and tight turns. The adrenaline was rushing, with every turn, knowing that I’ll do just fine, and I was loving every moment of it. When I saw down, from the side of the road, I realized I am at a very high spot, for a moment I was afraid, then I was not.

The next point brought us at a beautiful point from where we were able to see the lake below us, and the village and the bridge over that lake. I thought that is all, the trip is over. It couldn’t be better.

Jpeg Jpeg

And I was wrong.

After this point, we started descending to reach lavasa. The place is beyond beautiful. Be it the lake, or the bridge, or the way they have created houses above the hills. I loved everything that I saw. We then parked our bikes, and started walking. The sites were brilliant. It felt like that have created a small Venice in Lavasa. It felt like I wasn’t in India anymore, and was in some distant country, living a dream.

The pavements were beautiful, so was the lake, the people, and laughter, the shops, the houses. It all looked so beautiful, so perfect. I am going to be honest. I didn’t want to come back. And if I had options, I would have stayed there, but I couldn’t. We spent next few hours there. Walking, chatting, enjoying the view. And then finally, we started our return journey.

I knew it won’t be easy, it wasn’t. The turns and slopes that gave me issue while going up were far more dangerous while coming down. My bike was riding at 60 kmph, when I was pushing the brakes every few seconds and not even using the accelerator. I was able to control the bike though, and we came back, down, safely. I just loved the experience.

Now that I’ve tasted the blood for the first time, I want more of it. Maybe this will be the start of things. Things that I wanted to do since long. Maybe this will justify the reason I chose Pune to be the place I wanted to be at. Maybe it won’t. But I am sure as hell that I am about to enjoy my stay here.

What’s next is the planning for the next trip. And the execution. I’ve a goofy smile on my face while writing this. It haven’t happened recently, and I can surely say, I’m happy, at peace, and am sure my bike is happy too. We both needed this trip, and we will have more in future, soon.

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Epic Pune Trip

I’ve been thinking about visiting Pune since long. Especially after my brother moved there, but due to one reason or not, I was not able to. However, recently I got lucky, got a chance to visit Pune, went there, and returned after fulfilling my wish.

Me and my room mate decided to go to Pune on Monday. We checked the tickets, and saw that it was already in waiting, however, we had to go. There was no other option. We needed to take this chance, and after consulting with couple of friends, we booked our tickets. Hoping that they will be cleared before our date of journey.

Our tickets got confirmed before we boarded the train. However, the way we reached the coach was interesting. We left company at around 8 PM, and as soon as we started our bike, it started raining. Light drizzling, just the way we like it. We though it would be fun. However, our thoughts changed in 5 mins.

After reaching petrol pump, and getting enough fuel to carry on with rest of the journey towards station, we realized that we cannot go directly to station like this. I asked my friend, who was riding the bike to use my rain coat, and we started again.

10 more minutes, and we were wet, top to bottom. Shivering with cold, and the rain was hitting us hard, all the 40 KM of it. Finally we reached station, and entered the 3rd AC compartment, when we realized, we are going to be screwed for rest of the night as well, as all our clothes were already wet, and we were not even having enough spares to change to something dry.

We somehow survived the night, and woke up with only one thing on our mind, to conquer the world. And that is what we did their. However, that will be another post.

After 2 days of hard work and hectic schedule, we took an unplanned leave and went to Singhad to enjoy the awesome Pune weather. It was this place that made this Journey epic.

When we started our trip towards Singhad, I was not sure if I will enjoy this place, as it was just a hill and a fort on it. However, after reaching there, everything changed. The sky was darker than I expected, and the wind swift, and chilling. When I saw the hill clearly, I realized that the fog was covering the entire fort, or what was left of it.

First things first, and we ordered the famous Pimpla Bhakri and relished eating hot Rice Chapati with Makhani Dahi in such a chilling weather. The weather was getting beautiful with each passing moment, and we were just relishing the atmosphere.

Few minutes later, we started exploring the fort, if we can call it that. Then it started raining. Inside the fort, we found a wall, which was at a height and gave a brilliant view of the surrounding. We climbed to that spot, and rains started. Sitting there at that time, made us forget everything else, and all we wanted to do was to be there, and enjoy the nature’s enormous beauty.

We came down, and the climate opened up a little, and we were able to see below the beautiful villages that surrounded the village. At that moment, we stood, spread our arms, enjoying the wonderful breeze, and then in a moment, it was dark again, and it rained. 10 seconds, that’s all it took for us to be totally drenches in rain. It was wonderful. It was brilliant, one of the best experiences I’ve had in years.

I didn’t want to come back, but I had no choice. I had to come back, so that I can return again, maybe for a longer duration. That night, we boarded the same train we took on our way to Pune, and returned Ahmedabad, with a promise, that we will return, and the world will be ours.

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Decision

Sometimes we need to make decisions that hurt the people who are closest to us. The very people we do everything for. Those people whose smile is the reason we are ready to fight the world for.

Been there done that. This is not the first time when I’ve hurted someone so close, neither this is the last, even though I would love it to be that, but I know its not.

This question keeps popping into my head, consuming me, making me feel guilty. Is what I am doing worth it? Is anything worth hurting people who love you and mean your world to you? The answer might be no. But am I in position to deny that I am not in position to make that decision right now. Even though I don’t want them to hurt, I have to. For the betterment of both of us.

Hope she will understand and forgive me for the pain I’m putting her through. I know that she understands the reason behind everything I do. Maybe She’ll also understand that I am out of options right now. She tells me she does. And I want to believe her too. But her eyes, they betray her at times. And those are the times when I feel far more guilty than any other time.

What will you do in such a situation? Will you forget the future and be happy in the moment or will you try to make a better future even if it means hurting someone close?

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Just a feeling…

It’s still the same office, same project, and same colleagues (except a few who have recently joined, and the ones who have left), the same place, the same friends, same me, still everything suddenly feels different…

Normally I enjoy the chaos, relish it, cause it is always for good. But this time, I am disturbed by it, and yet, I am not. I was expecting this. Since when? I don’t know. Why? I don’t know that either. But somewhere, deep inside, I knew this moment will come, and yet, I was not prepared for it.

Now that I’m here, everything seems meaningless, and all I want to do is end this process, and move on. I’ve thought about it a lot already and there seems to be no way to do it. Maybe if I’ll know where the problem lies, then I can look for the solution. But I don’t know where the problem is. All I know is that there is something that is bothering me.

After thinking a lot about it, I’ve narrowed down the possibilities to a few of the things that might be the reason behind all this. Right now, I’m working on them, to fix them, to feel better. It isn’t exactly working. But I am trying, as that is all I can do at this stage.

Maybe I got carried away. Maybe I let other get under my skin. Maybe I started thinking like them, and this is why I am where I am. Or maybe, everything is just fine, and it’s just a phase, one of many, and it will pass, just like the ones before it has passed. And everything will be normal.

I’m trying to change things, to change circumstances, to change the way I feel. I might not succeed, but I will not give up. I will fight, till I will be free of this sickened feeling, or till this feeling will sink me down, to the very bottom of my existence…

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Where are you?

thedailyneurotic

Are you out there missing me? Are you out there feeling relieved that it’s all over and finally done? Are you telling yourself that your life is better now that this mess has finally maxed out and can’t get worse? Are you fully checked out and moving on with your life? Are you wallowing at home or is your calendar jam packed to distract you?

I have so many emotions and thoughts that ebb and flow every day. Sometimes every hour.

I wish you’d reach out to me. But I know you won’t. Though, I’m sure, you think you’ve done nothing wrong and that it is I who should apologize…that I should be the one to reach out. But maybe you’re glad that I haven’t.

We’ve been so intertwined for these last few years. And it’s weird now that we’re not. I guess I just wish that I knew how…

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Cry

Though I promised you,

I will never Cry,

I am afraid to tell the truth,

and I just lie,

I am not a human,

but still tears are streaming down from my eyes….

 

And I am asking you why,

you left me alone,

I am asking you why,

you are so far and gone,

and I am asking you why,

you left me here to cry,

to cry,

and I am asking you why

 

I call you, throughout the day,

when I hear your voice I got nothing left to say,

I break, I cry, and I tell you that I am fine,

I know you are innocent enough, and you believe that I am not lying,

But I want you to know that I try,

not to cry, but I lie, and I cry

 

And I am asking you why,

you left me alone,

I am asking you why,

you are so far and gone,

and I am asking you why,

you left me here to cry,

to cry,

and I am asking you why

 

Gotta tell you this,

gotta share with you,

but tell me how, how can I hurt you,

so I stay quiet, I stay alone,

I know you are not around and that you are gone….

So let me lie to you,

let me cry for you,

let me cry for you,

let me cry for you Princess,

cuz I will always love you….. 

 

– Logan (Someday back in 2008)

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